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Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Lala Kent, Randall Emmett’s astrological compatibility spelled trouble

Reality TV fixture and source of eyebrow envy Lala Kent has apparently dumped fiancé Randall Emmett.

And, to borrow a phrase, it may have been in the stars.

The 31-year-old “Vanderpump Rules” cast member incited breakup rumors when she (again) purged all images of her fiancé, Randall Emmett, from her Instagram account. She doubled down on the speculation by posting a video to her Instagram Story that featured her walking down a palm-lined hotel corridor to the suggestive tune of Beyoncé’s “Sorry.”

From an astrological standpoint, it’s safe to say: she ain’t.

As a Virgo, Kent is a mutable earth sign prone to corrective, exacting and superior energy that she herself righteously describes as “petty AF.” Virgo cannot help but see people as projects — think townhouses with faulty wiring but the potential for great curb appeal.

Hence Virgo’s tried and true tendency to slum it in the romance department — seeing what a person could be, rather than who they truly are.

The foreclosed townhouse in question is Instagram-ostracized baby daddy and Aries producer Randall Emmett, 50. I have it on good authority that one should never trust a man whose last name could also be his first, but leave it to the “love as the ultimate fixer-upper” Virgo to hitch her wagon to this infernal star.

Governed by the planet of war and born to be bold, Aries energy is aggressive, impulsive and decidedly tactless. Aries wants to be first and best at all costs. Represented by the ram and their requisite horns, Aries would rather suffer blunt force trauma than inertia and will die before admitting fault or uttering an apology. 

Lala Kent and Randall Emmett share an affectionate moment on a 2019 red carpet.UPI/Newscom/MEGA

In terms of rapport, Virgo pushes Aries to be better, and Aries — believing they were conceived in and for greatness — is challenged and charmed by Virgo’s efforts. The coupling of these two suggests deep respect, explosive arguments and limited compromise.

On an elemental level, Virgo and Aries together equal scorched earth. 

Discord and resolution in any romantic relationship hinge on the placement of Mars in the respective birth charts of the couple. Mars is the planet of war and action that reveals not only our fighting styles but what and who we are prepared to raise hell over. 

On an elemental level, Virgo and Aries together equal scorched earth.

Kent’s Mars falls in the sign of hyper-verbal, utterly indiscreet Gemini. Ruled by Mercury, this Mars sign is compulsively expressive and allergic to boredom. It’s the placement voted most likely to weaponize words and generate drama because their nail appointment was canceled and they found themselves with an extra 30 minutes.

Kent allegedly liking an Instagram post about Randall cheating on her? Pure Mercurial chaos energy. Kent has a history of deleting or archiving photos of Randall depending on his behavior and the oscillation of her moods. Hot and cold and always trigger-happy is the modality of this placement. 

In her birth chart, Kent’s Mars falls in her seventh house, colloquially known as the marriage box. What does it mean to have the planet of war in the house of relationships? It manifests as an attraction to people who have heavy aggro energy; insert Aries Emmett and a propensity for quarrels. Think a whole lot of combat with very little compassion to balance it out. There’s no real way to win against a Gemini Mars as they are always one step — and several tweets — ahead of you.

Lala Kent’s Virgo sign means she tends to be reactive, while Randall Emmett’s Aries could perhaps use some compassion.ALLA / BACKGRID

Unless, of course, you hold the keys to the kingdom of punishment in the form of Emmett’s Mars in Capricorn. 

Mars is said to be exalted in the sign of Capricorn — that is, able to express the full potential of its power. Mars in Capricorn is the ultimate architect of war and it translates as calculated attacks and stoic savagery.

You won’t find Emmett deleting posts or commenting publicly, which is perhaps the greatest kryptonite to Kent’s Mars in Gemini: He simply won’t engage her rage. 

What does this spell for the future of Kent and Emmett’s relationship, should they reconcile?

Emmett’s Mars in Capricorn lives in the sixth house of service and daily habits, meaning while Kent is fuming and typing, Emmett is calmly plodding away at the practical business of getting paid. If and when that becomes the business of getting laid — as it allegedly did with two Tennessee cocktail waitresses — the Mars in Capricorn native feels no remorse nor need to explain themselves. Because sex and emotion are often disparate for those with this placement, they don’t view indiscretions as undermining their primary relationship. There will be no tears and no begging from Mars in Capricorn, nor will they be coerced by a display of either in their partner. 

What does this spell for the future of Kent and Emmett’s relationship, should they reconcile? Never has there been two people equally matched for rutting and ruthlessness than this pair. Yet, if Kent can find it in herself to hesitate ever so slightly before she speaks, acts, posts or publicly expunges — and if Emmett could dredge up a thimble-full of compassion and a spare hour a week for talk therapy — there’s no limit to their potential for long-term success.

Here’s hoping these crazy kids work it out or at least concede to a cease-fire for the sake of baby, Ocean, their water-ruled and destined-to-be sensitive Pisces offspring.

Lala Kent and Randall Emmett frolic in the ocean with their appropriately named newborn daughter, Ocean, over Labor Day weekend.MEGA

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