Ask Amy: Navigating the Dilemma of Starting a Family to Prevent Spouse’s Deployment


“Exploring the complexities of love and sacrifice: Should bringing a child into the world be the answer to saving a marriage from the brink of separation due to war?”

Dear Amy,

I am facing a difficult decision and I am seeking your advice. My husband recently informed me that he has been called to serve in the military and will be deployed to a war zone. Naturally, I am worried sick about his safety and well-being.

However, amidst my fears, a thought crossed my mind – should I have a baby to keep him from going to war? I know it may sound drastic, but I can’t help but wonder if bringing a child into our lives would make him exempt from his military duties.

I love my husband dearly and the thought of him being in harm’s way terrifies me. We have discussed starting a family before, but it was always a future plan. Now, with this deployment looming over us, I can’t help but feel desperate for a solution that would keep him safe at home.

I understand that having a child is a lifelong commitment and should never be taken lightly. It is not a decision that should be made solely to avoid a difficult situation. But the idea of potentially protecting my husband from the horrors of war is difficult to ignore.

Amy, I am torn and confused. I don’t know if I am being irrational or if this is a legitimate concern. I want to support my husband and be there for him, but the thought of him being in a war zone is tearing me apart.

Please, help me gain some perspective on this matter. Am I considering something that is morally wrong or selfish? Is there a healthier way to cope with this overwhelming fear?

Thank you,

An Anxious Wife

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