Devastated by a Private List: Wife seeks guidance on how to cope with her husband’s hurtful actions


Ask Sahaj: How can I heal and rebuild trust after discovering my husband’s private list that has left me feeling completely shattered?

Dear Ask Sahaj,

I am reaching out to you because I am devastated and in need of guidance. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been keeping a private list about me, and it has completely shattered me emotionally.

I stumbled upon this list accidentally while using his computer. It contained hurtful comments and criticisms about my appearance, personality, and even my capabilities as a wife and mother. Reading those words felt like a dagger to my heart, as I never expected my loving husband to harbor such negative thoughts about me.

The list also revealed that he had been sharing these thoughts with his close friends, which made me feel even more betrayed and humiliated. I can’t help but question everything now – our relationship, our marriage, and whether he truly loves and respects me.

Confronting him about the list was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had. He initially dismissed it as a harmless outlet for frustrations, claiming that he never meant for me to find it. However, his words only added more fuel to the fire of my pain and sense of betrayal.

I am at a loss for what to do next. I love my husband, but I can’t ignore the damage that has been done. How can I rebuild trust and move forward from this incredibly hurtful incident? Is couples therapy a viable option, or should I consider separating?

I am desperately seeking your advice and any insights you can offer to help me navigate through this heart-wrenching situation. I want to find a way to heal and rebuild our relationship, but I am unsure if it’s even possible at this point.

Thank you for listening and for any guidance you can provide.

Devastated and Betrayed

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